I need a break from reality.

You know how everyone has a list, the list where they hope to have achieved by a certain point in life? Well, naturally I have one too. Have I accomplished much that I once set out to do?

Hmm… yes and no.

Sorry, I’m not trying to be deliberately confusing but that’s my honest answer. For one, I never thought I’d end up in Melbourne (Adelaide yes, with all my friends) and come November 19th it will mark my 3 years here. What a long journey it has been! One I like to think that I’ve dotted with accomplishments and success. Year one was the toughest, moving away from everyone I knew (third time nonetheless!), working AND studying all in the same year! Now that I look back on 2009… I realise I AM a tough girl.

Year two was a bit blah, first year as a pharmacist so the excitement pretty much wore out mid-year. Also the anticipation of being made the next manager got a little tiring, I cruised along just fine.

Year three? Well, my most challenging to date. I took over as manager, fell in love (and also had my heart broken at the same time), hit a few roadblocks as manager and I also spent a good portion of the year trying to figure out if I should stay or leave Melbourne.

There, I’ve said it.

My main reason has always been my family and after my dad’s huge fall I realise how important family really is to me. Everyone who knows me, knew that I had a tough time growing up without my mother, living with a stepmother and trying particularly hard to fit in with my ‘new’ family. We’ve since worked out all our kinks (suffice to say it was a long and hard journey but looking back at it now I wouldn’t really change a thing because of what has been done for my character) and I really want to make up for those times we didn’t get along.

Living overseas has its perks don’t get me wrong: the stable income, job satisfaction (feeling as though I’m contributing to the community), finding such a great group of people at work and also I think the distance has allowed my stepmother and I to appreciate the roles we play in each others life more.

BUT… it also sucks when you’re not there when the good or bad happens to your family. Not being able to celebrate birthdays together, not able to hug and console your sisters when they need their tears wiped and the worst of all? Feeling helpless when something happens to your loved one eg: my dad’s horrific fall earlier this year. That, I feel has been the biggest hurdle this year. To be honest with you, all I wanted to do that very second was quit my job and quit my life in Melbourne. Anything just to NOT feel that helpless again.

The feeling has lessened slightly when I realised my parents have a really amazing support group around them. For that, I feel blessed.